Horses Keep You Humble: An Adult Amateur’s Return to Show Jumping

“I must be crazy.”

For six years, I’ve dreamed of this moment and now I am beginning to question whether or not I overestimated myself.

In an attempt to memorize my course, I start coaching myself in my head, “OK – start with an oxer going home, rollback left to. . .is that a bending or a broken line? Who knows. Now another bending line, rollback left to an oxer, leg out of the turn, bending to a combination, rollback left on the end-jump, broken line to a one-stride, bending to jump ten. Jump ten!?! Oh great, now I have to remember the jump off.”

I decide to watch the final riders in the preceding class as they navigate the course of fences, and I begin to see how the lines ride. Although I gain a better sense of the course and the questions it will ask of me and my horse, I have yet to feel even a marginal increase in confidence.

My trainer, Johanna, soon joins me at the ring for the course walk and I’m sure she can tell that I’m nervous.

New Girl Initiation Night, 2006

Johanna and I met when I was around 14 and she was maybe 16, and we were both “new girls” at our high school. It was a school with a well-known equestrian program and both of us were there to progress our riding. I remember being in awe of her and her horse, Metro – she made every course seem almost like a waltz; each jump was smoothly taken out-of-stride and every turn was fluid and well balanced. Our trainers encouraged everyone to watch the lessons of more advanced riders, so I would set myself up with my homework at a table in the arena viewing gallery every Tuesday, Wednesday, and Friday afternoon to soak it all in.

While most every trainer gets to know their riders, just as teachers get to know their students, there’s a different dynamic when you are 29-years-old and your trainer has known you since you were barely a teenager.

Before commencing the course walk, Johanna turned to me, and in a kind but frank tone said, “Betta, how many courses did we have to memorize as Juniors when we were riding together? I promise, you won’t get lost.”

This honest reality check set the tone for my entire first show back after nearly a decade out of the show ring.

Low Adult Jumpers, Vermont Summer Festival, 2021

True to her word, I did not get lost on course and we made it around three of the four times we entered the ring. My first two days of showing at the Vermont Sumer Festival gave me some great insights into my strengths and weaknesses as a rider, as well as Cassandra’s preferences and abilities as a jumper. Having purchased Cassandra only two months prior, we knew there would be a lot to learn, but she certainly exceeded all expectations we had for the young seven-year-old at her first overnight show.

While certain things, like remembering my course, came back easily, other things, like managing my nerves in the show ring, were a little more elusive. To help, we decided to show on Saturday instead of giving Cassandra the day off as planned. The younger riders were excited to finally be able to watch Cassandra show, and I was looking forward to putting all the pieces together from our previous rides on Thursday and Friday. As we started to warm up, I noticed she was lazier than usual, but it was to be expected so I didn’t think it was indicative of anything more. Our first few fences in the schooling area were also slow, and at this point ‘yellow flags’ began raising in my mind, but again, I shrugged them off and kept going with a touch more leg.

Then it happened.

We made the roll back turn off the rail to the uneven oxer and simply didn’t have enough gas in the tank. Instead of stopping outright, Cassandra attempted to clear it and instead went straight through it, propelling my body forward, creating a sweaty slip-and-slide down her neck, which led to my once-in-a-lifetime, gymnastics quality dismount.

Horse Show Mom of the Year

I’m still not sure what shocked me more:

  • That I had fallen off for the first time in ten years
  • That I had actually landed on my feet, unscathed
  • Or, that my Jewish mother who always worried was casually standing on the sidelines with her yorkshire terrier, unperturbed by the whole incident, telling a horrified looking woman next to her not to worry and that I was [likely] fine.

Looking back, we should have scratched the class and called it a day after we successfully schooled over a few more jumps, but that’s the thing about hindsight. Instead, Johanna and I decided that we should still give it a go in the show ring. I trotted in with all the confidence I could muster and swiftly learned my next big lesson – Cassandra needs a day off. She politely but firmly refused the first jump twice, resulting in our immediate elimination and the end of our show day.

As a teenager, this incident may have resulted in tears or embarrassment, but as an adult I’ve learned two very important lessons:

  1. Fail fast so you can learn from it and move forward.
  2. If you never fail then you’re not taking big enough risks.

Our elimination perfectly covered both of these life lessons in one, not-so-graceful Saturday. As I rode out of the show ring, I smiled – “I guess we should have given her the day off”, I said to Johanna. “Yup, now we know”. “Should we jump a few more just so she doesn’t end the day on a refusal?”, I ask. “Mhm, let’s go”, Johanna replies.

Low Adult Jumpers, Vermont Summer Festival 2021

Was I bummed about the day? Absolutely. But am I glad we learned that lesson at our very first show? One hundred percent.

After our shaky Saturday finish, we decided against getting jumper braids for the low adult jumper classic on Sunday. We will save those for the day when we can walk in the ring as a true team, ready to win. For the 2021 Vermont Summer Festival, our Sunday goal was to once again get around the course and continue to learn more so we can keep progressing together.

I can happily say that we achieved our goal and there were no hard feelings held by humans or horses. I was elated when we made it around Sunday’s classic course and can’t wait to do it again.

As another high school friend (and trainer) put it, “Horses keep you humble”, and I couldn’t agree more.

Low Adult Jumpers, Vermont Summer Festival, 2021

Cassandra and I are now looking towards our second show together this weekend in Fairfield, Connecticut. I am now equipped with the knowledge that managing my mind will be just as important as riding the course, and I’m thankful to have a trainer that will remind me of that whenever I begin to psyche myself out.

Stay tuned for videos from The Vermont Summer Festival and follow @bettabeyou on Instagram for updates on Fairfield this weekend!


Why we horse show


When I was 12, I decided that I wanted to show. More specifically, I wanted to travel up and down the east coast, showing against the best there was. It was at this point that I learned what it took to be a show rider on a budget, and I spent every sequential weekend working at the barn to help offset the costs I incurred following my dream.

I did reach my goal, and competed in Florida, Atlanta, New York, Vermont, Connecticut, and Massachusetts. However, when I turned 17, I decided my priority should be my approaching college application process, and the dream was put on hold. Continue reading “Why we horse show”

So, You Want to Own & Operate a Farm?

As you’re growing up and trying to figure out what you’re going to do for your professional life people always tell you, “do what you love”, or, “find something you’re passionate about and make that your job”. Naturally, any horse person will think, “AHA! I love horses so I should own and operate my own farm one day”!

Please, if this is you, PAUSE, think, & understand that this means you want to start your own BUSINESS.

Yes, a horse farm is a business and horseback riding is an industry.


So many times I see passionate people who love horses start their own farm and then get burnt out, go broke, or get stuck with a farm that’s falling apart and a far cry from what they originally wanted and dreamed about. That said, here are a few things to consider in order to make your farm a revenue positive business!

Quality lesson horses for a variety of levels 


Lessons are the foundation to how you are going to make money and the lesson horses you have will either make it or break it. You want to attract junior riders who will inevitably bring their parents along to all their lessons. Yes, you need to fall off and get back on if you’re really going to learn how to ride but, wait until the rider is confident in the saddle before putting them on a dirty stopper or easy spooker. Set the parents at ease by having safe and reliable lesson horses for their kids to learn on. Now, here’s the important part. Lessons are only the entry point for your main revenue builder; shows. Have lesson horses that you can take to local horse shows in order to get the kids, and the parents, excited about competition. You want to make sure your kids are placing in the top four ribbons for their first few horse shows in order to get them hooked on showing. There are a few that will love it no matter how they place…but the truth is, it’s a lot easier to love showing if you actually do well every now and then. Eventually, they’ll want to show more and outgrow your lesson horse which is when you start looking to find them a show horse.

Sell or lease out your personal horses (if you have more than one)

Your lesson horses are now “your horses”. If you have one for yourself then fine but just because your horses are on your property doesn’t mean they’re free. Having a herd of your own horses that aren’t or can’t be used for lessons will drain your business.

Have a trainer!


In order to show you need a trainer. More importantly, in order for kids to learn how to ride and be comfortable they need a consistent teacher who they’re used to riding with. This might mean that you have two trainers, which many farms do…one for beginners and one for the upper level or actively showing students. Another fun option is to have an IEA (Interscholastic Equestrian Association) team. This is great for kids who can’t afford their own horse but still want to show. Plus, it gets your farm name out there and can really build a strong foundation for your riders (look for my upcoming post with more detail on IEA!).

Purchase a trailer or two 


Showing is a must unless you plan to be a breeding or rescue farm. Sometimes you’ll have one or two horses going to shows, other times you’ll have four horses going to shows. Competition is a great way to build relationships between your students and create a “barn family” or a greater community feel to your farm which is AWESOME for your barn! Having both a two-horse and a four-horse trailer gives you flexibility and allows your trainer to show in order to keep their name out there and possible get your horses name’s out there.

Safe Fencing 

It’s safe to say that you’re going to end up with some show horses on your property and, as a member of the hunter/jumper/equitation show world let’s face it…show horses are prissy! Safe fencing is going to be one of the first things that new boarders look at when deciding whether or not to bring their horses to your farm. If you have to, get a bank loan or small investment through crowdfunding or other sources but it’s better to be safe about fencing then skimp on it at first and have to deal with it later.

Good Footing

Discipline doesn’t matter when it comes to footing. Make sure that your footing is going to be good for the horses and, for your outdoor ring, make sure that it’s put in properly so that rain, snow, and other kinds of weather don’t upset or unsettle the footing so much that it damages the ring. Indoor rings are a HUGE plus especially if weather makes it difficult to ride in the winter but, if that’s not in the budget, leave space for the possibility but maybe have a covered round pen or something so that boarders can still ride regardless of rain or snow.

Be online! 

People Google..and they will google you. So much is online now that if you’re not, it affects how people view your credibility. Even a basic website and some social media pages can go a long way! This is where a lot of farms drop the ball and having an online presence really does help you build your business, credibility, name recognition, and even show recognition. Have a blog so people can get a better feel for your trainer’s style, your farm’s identity, and who you are as a farm owner. If it’s ok with your riders (or their parents if they are minors) then post photos, videos, and articles about them and their achievements. There’s so much you can do that can help ensure your future success!

If you have any questions or are interested in talking further about building your barn’s brand, let me know!

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